Over the years, in my pursuit and mission to create a kinder world, I began to notice how hard I still was on myself. I felt like I was never doing enough, being enough, working enough, contributing enough – or what I was saying or doing might even be too much. This battle went on for decades until I realised, in a Eureka moment, that self-love and kindness to myself were the key.
The more I began to feel the love from within, the more energy I found I had to effortlessly create a kinder world in every moment, by being the love and kindness I desired to see.
Perhaps the greatest struggle we will face in this life is to accept and love ourselves in spite of our human flaws, failures, missteps, regrets and missed opportunities. I wish I could tell you there was a magic pill, though what I know is that none of this will change, without a little work, because sadly we seem to be programmed to ridicule, criticise, demoralise and diminish ourselves.
It’s truly so much easier and more magical to make your way through life when you choose to look through the lens of love for yourself.
And if self-love seems a little far-fetched for where you’re at in your life right now, what if you were at least willing to consider taking the first step towards experimenting with increasing your love of self? What’s the worst that could happen? You might even find you actually enjoy yourself - and life - a little more, each and every day.
So let’s turn up the love with these five simple keys to activating and opening your heart to greater self-love. Remember that tomorrow never comes - as soon as it arrives, it becomes today. So as you read these points, I want to encourage you to choose one, schedule it in, and commit to doing something - anything - every day which you feel is an active demonstration of self-love.
1. Celebrate your greatness each day
Have you ever felt like you needed a compliment? Go ahead and give yourself one! Think about all your great qualities, and congratulate and celebrate yourself about one of these. There’s no reason to wait for someone else to say something amazing about you; give yourself a nice compliment right now.
Many years back, I arrived home from holidays and my cousin had put Post-it notes of love all around my apartment. I kept them up and read them daily, and every day I could feel this gesture added a little self-love skip to my happy step.
2. Make a list of your accomplishments
You’ve accomplished plenty of great things, and I bet you have many wonderful qualities that you’ve been overlooking. Make a list of them all! Be creative and give this exercise some thought: you’ll find that your life has been more impressive than you’d realised.
A commitment to writing down three great things every day for two weeks has been shown to boost confidence and optimism levels by up to 60% - and yes, optimism and self-love are very near and dear friends.
3. Greet what you eat with love
We all know that when we take better care of ourselves by making some changes to how or what we eat, we feel better. I’m a massive believer in listening to your body to discover which foods are healthy for you. Food is meant to be fuel, so if after eating, you feel tired, bloated or have less energy, choose something different next time.
Often clients share with me that they feel guilty when they eat. If this is you, let’s imagine adding something to your day that when you eat it, it feels like a divine act of self-love. It could be added greens, an extra salad or even your morning coffee; whatever you choose, as you eat it, imagine it filling every cell in your body with greater levels of love.
I gave up coffee for many years because I thought I should. Then I realised how much pleasure, joy and love I got out of my morning latte! Turning it into a soulful ritual of self-love, self-care and mindfulness, now fuels me every single day with even more love to ripple out into the world.
Yes, a full cup has so much overflow that we can’t help but want to give more to others!
4. Kindness matters
Spending time on something important to you is a great way to elevate how you feel about yourself, from the inside out. Random acts of kindness are great ways to start and have been shown to create huge amounts of happiness and health benefits. Choose an act of kindness, or opportunity to support a cause you believe in, and within no time you will find it effortless to turn up the love.
Even a smile at a stranger can have a huge positive impact on how we are feeling in our day. Most mornings after enjoying my orgasmic latte, I then take some time to see how many strangers I can connect with to share a ‘good morning smile’. Now, I assure you they don’t all receive or return my action of kindness, but that isn’t the point. In my heart, I know I am being the change I wish to see, and I might possibly be the only smile one of these amazing souls receives today.
5. Be grateful
Appreciating what you have, rather than focusing on what is missing, makes it so much easier to love yourself. Think about your life and make a list of the things and people that fill you with gratitude, as well as the reasons why.
You might even be surprised by how much of a great life you already have - and did you know research has shown it’s impossible to feel grateful and depressed at the same time? So as you are writing and reading your attitudes of gratitude, ensure you take time to really connect with what you’re describing, and how it makes you feel.
A little self-love a day is truly what the Doctor of Love ordered - and will enhance every part of your life. So remember to schedule your daily acts of self-love, and let’s start elevating your inner world, to completely maximise the magnetic miracles in your the outer world we all share.
Kyla has worked with thousands of clients, sharing her Elevate Your Wellness and Culture programs spanning across most top tier corporations and industries, including education, schools and universities.
She uses science backed wellness, mood, mindset and resilience elevation tools and techniques, with an added dose to mystery, magic and deep energetic inward journeys to ensure participants walk away totally changes from the inside, out.
Her work continues to support teachers, teens, teams, and senior leaders to embed practical SOULutions, aimed at creating a kinder more loving world and reducing stress, suicide, anxiety, depression and other mental, emotional and physical health issues within our schools, homes and workplaces.
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